Body Confidence after having Children

We went on holiday last year to Gran Canaria. It was so beautiful and we had such an amazing time but one thing that was bothering me from the day we booked it, was how I was going to look in a Bikini.

 If you’ve had kids, you’ll know what I’m on about when I talk about the ‘Mum Tum’ - it’s not exactly ‘fat’ but it’s the bit of wobbly skin on your tummy that seems impossible to shift, whatever you try and do. My aim was to just wear high waisted bikini bottoms to suck it in and be done with it... This was all well and good until I got on holiday and felt vile. I put my high waisted bottoms on and my bikini top and instantly felt so big, bigger than what I actually thought of myself to be and just wasn’t comfortable at all.  I had seven days left - what the hell was I going to do?! I just didn’t want to sit in this horrible bikini that made me feel fat and frumpy so, I didn’t. I packed a ‘spare’ pair of bikini bottoms that weren’t high waisted *GASPS* but that were a little lower, meaning, my stretch marks and 'mum tum' would be on show. I braved it, slid them on and would you believe, I actually felt better almost instantly. I looked in the mirror, saw my stretch marks and the little wobbly bit (the bit that Millie asks me what I have in there...) and smiled.

It might be odd to think that I was more comfortable with my belly out than having it tucked away but what happened was, I let go of the insecurity of why I didn’t want my belly on show to start with and focused on why it was there in the first place.

I’ve heard of so many Mummies that have lost their babies, some un-born, some weeks or months old. I have my babies with me, Millie was next to me at the pool, she was playing with me in the sea, she was holding my hand when we walked and she was laughing with me when we ate ice creams. Millie and Mylo are the reason I have that wobbly tummy and those stretch marks. They are the reason I smile. They are everything and are why I don’t care what I look like. 

I shared a picture on Facebook with a little bit of a speech on there saying the above but in simpler terms and the response I got was so overwhelming and unexpected that it made me want to share it with everyone else. Your children don’t care if you can fit into size 8 jeans, they don’t care if you have a slim stomach and no wobbly bits - they care about you eating ice creams and chocolate with them and playing games with them in the sun. They don’t want parents who are too busy going to the gym to sit and watch a film at night and snack on popcorn and sweeties. Children do not care about our bodies. They care about us. 

This holiday opened my eyes up a little at the fact that I may not be happy with how I look, but I’m happy with the reasons why I may look this way and if one day I choose to change it, then I’ll be doing so for reasons that I choose, not society. Don’t feel like you have to be the supermodel Mum that you see plastered in magazines, those ‘Mum’s’ probably have Nannies doing their dirty work, they have chance to make their own meals and buy fresh fruit and veg daily, and spend hours in the gym - not spending time with their family. 

This is by far my favourite picture of the holiday. We had fun, we laughed, we ate so much yummy food and ice creams that we probably don’t need anymore for the rest of the summer but more importantly, we enjoyed ourselves and I rocked my bikini every, single, day.