Friday, 9 August 2013

I do... Should you? Do you?!

Everyone seems to be having babies, getting engaged, getting married... What's going on!? 


Image sourced on Google

As you all know (and if you don't then you should by now!) I had a baby 3 months ago... It wasn't planned at all but I wouldn't change it for the world now. But with my family (well... My Grandma) being very religious, one of the first things she said when I told her I was pregnant was 'So has he asked you to marry him yet?!' The answer was and still is no but I honestly don't feel like there is any rush to get married.

A lot of people may think that the 'proper' way to do things is to move in, get engaged, get married, have a baby... But this is the 21st century and things change! It's not always convenient to do them in that order and sometimes, it doesn't always work out well in that order either...

Me and Adam have been together for 2 years nearly, we were seeing each other for almost a year prior to that too so we know each other pretty well. We moved in together officially back in September last year after we found out I was pregnant and couldn't go back to uni. I did stay with him through the summer though thinking that it would only be for the summer... Little did we know it would be for the rest of our lives! Or will it? 

I have no doubts in my mind that we will stay together 'forever' now that we have Millie but I am frequently being asked 'Are you getting married?' 'Are you engaged yet?' And the honest answer is... I don't know!! I would LOVE to get married, don't get me wrong, but now we have Millie, I don't feel like we are in any rush to get married as she is pretty much all the security we need to know that neither of us are going anywhere. 

When people get engaged just for the sake of getting engaged, it annoys the hell out of both me and Adam. We don't see the point in having an engagement just to throw a party for other people or to show off a ring, when we get engaged, we hope to plan a wedding and 2-3 years later actually GET MARRIED! Not flaunt 'Emma and Adam got engaged' statuses all over Facebook and throw engagement parties for our friends to get hammered at. There's no point in it, is there!? I know people that have been engaged for a good few years and not even looked at a wedding venue or talked about a date and I just don't see the point. If you aren't planning on getting wed, why get engaged!? 

I believe that if you truly love someone, there is no rush to get married and that you should do it when the time is right. After all, it's not cheap to do and if you want to do it properly, it takes time and a hell of a lot of money! I just know that i'd like to be in a house before we decide to get married, whether that be a rented house or we buy our own, I don't mind but I want the stability of having a family home, somewhere we can bring Millie up before a ring. She will always be there and I want to ensure she has the best childhood she can rather than worrying about what size diamond I can find to fit my finger! 

Don't get me wrong, when the time comes I will say yes and I will be SO happy, but I won't be saying yes just to prove something, i'll be saying it because I want to be planning the rest of my life with Adam.



Do you know anyone that has been 'engaged' for years and hasn't tied the knot yet?! What do you believe about Marriage?! 


16 comments :

  1. This was such a cool post to read. Millie is an absolute stunner just like you two!

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  2. i totally agree with everything you've said. You should never feel pressure to take a huge step like engagement just because others might thing it is the right way around to do things. You love each other and you dont need a band of silver to prove that. My sister has been with her partner for 12 years, they only just got engaged a year ago, just goes to prove your point! x

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    1. Yeah exactly! My cousins have been together for 19 years and they're only just getting married (next year) but were only engaged 2 years ago so that isn't too bad! But I have a friend who got engaged 3 years ago, had a massive engagement party and has done nothing since! Pointless!!

      xx

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  3. I agree totally with you on everything! Especially when people get engaged just for the sake of it. I work in a wedding cake shop and we have people come in asking about cakes and they're getting married in like 2015/2016. It's just like HUH? WHAT?! hahaha! x

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    1. Haha, well that's just getting organised I think. Least they have planned when they want to get married rather than just getting engaged for the sake of it!

      xx

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  4. I'm not overly sure on marriage and certainly don't see the need in having a huge, overblown engagement. Marriage, of course, brings security, but the way people flaunt it out is just awful. I can see how it'd be so lovely to share a name and a life with someone - like you, I've been with my boyfriend for 2 years. We are planning a life together, although we're still young(ish). We're planning perhaps finding somewhere together in the next year or so but neither of us are fond on the idea of marriage. I wouldn't even mind just changing my name to his and sharing a mortgage!

    Good luck to the three of you, you're all adorable!
    vickieblogs.blogspot.co.uk

    xx

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    1. I'm not the type for a huge engagement either! You sound like us, we want a home first then start planning and saving for a wedding and it's so nice that you can do that without scaring off the other half haha! :)

      xx

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  5. Completely agree! I feel that those who are more insecure in their relationships are the ones who rush into marriage just to prove something to others or convince themselves maybe. You three are adorable, all the best for the future! Xx

    H @ Higher&Haya

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    1. I completely agree! I just don't see the point in putting a ring on it then doing nothing about it! Waste of money if you ask me ;) Aw, thank you!

      xx

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  6. I hate when people get engaged and you ask 'Ooh when are you getting married?' and they answer 'Oh who knows, not for years yet..' lol.
    I totally agree with your post, enjoy being new parents.. your life will roll out accordingly!
    When I was younger, I always thought I'd be married, with a mortgage and 2 kids by the time I was 30.. I have 5 months till I turn 30, still renting, with 1 child. But I'm happy and looking forward to my future.. :)

    Lianne
    http://thebrunettesays.blogspot.co.uk

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    1. Yep, I was the same hun. Thought it'd be career, house, marriage, kids... I'm unemployed, with a baby and renting with my boyfriend haha! Complete opposite! But yeah, I can't wait to see what the future brings for us 3 :) You're little family is perfect!

      xx

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  7. I've been with my other half nearly 7 years now and we're just happy as we are. I've never wanted a massive wedding so we're just having a small next year. We've just been too busy with keeping 2 children alive that it's been a back seat plan but I can't wait to be able to share my wedding day with my 2 girls, it feels a bit more special with them there. Everyone takes things in life differently and just go with the flow, it wouldn't feel right if you were to force something as big as this.
    Anyway, you both look really happy and Millie is such a cutie! No point adding pressure to your relationship x

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    1. Im not overly keen on the idea of a huge wedding either really but my family is quite big, and so is Adams so I don't know how we're gonna work our way around that one ;) And I think because I was bridesmaid for my mum, I want Millie to be mine - like you said, it's just extra special having just your own little family part of the bridal party rather than friends, cousins, neighbours etc! Thanks hun

      xx

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  8. Ahh I feel very similar to you! I'm currently pregnant and having my baby girl in October. I have been with my boyfriend nearly 2 years and we was best friends/ seeing each other a year prior that. I started Uni last year but then stopped because I wasnt focused and wasn't for me at that point and shortly got pregnant. I'm just wondering have you decided to go back?? I'm in two minds about it to be honest. Also there is no need to rush into marriage, we spoke about it even before I got pregnant but we both said we want todo it when the time is right and have the right money etc and not rush it and be ruined! My mum also said dont feel pressured because your having a baby to get married for the sake of it. Really enjoyed your post :)
    www.apinchofshaz.blogspot.com
    xo

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    1. You sound just like me! I was at uni in Twickenham, came back after 1st year and 4 days before I was due to return for 2nd year I found out i was pregnant! There was no question about it though and I moved straight in with adam, found a job and signed up for the Open Uni just so I could still get a career once baba goes to school! We're really not pressured at all but I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with Adam :)

      xx

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